Deny Discovery Unless Drunk
by 88silverkeys
Summary: James has a drunken stag night with a confession that leads to the best and the worst revelations all at once. JPSB, SBJP angsty, hot, antifluff.


**A/N: Not fluffy, not happy: you've been warned. Reviews are, as always, welcome. **

**Many thanks to Psycho Hippy for the beta and de-Americanizing, her work is much happier and just brilliant, read some! **

Sirius had been cleaning up from dinner when the knocking on his door started. He had been stubbing his toe in an effort to reach the door when the pounding started. He had been muttering profanity when he opened to the door to see James standing on the other side.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Sirius all but growled as he took in James' dishevelledstate. James' hair was messier than usual and his tie was loose, the Oxford partially unbuttoned.

"What, did I interrupt bed time?" James muttered as he pushed past Sirius, who rolled his eyes and followed the groom-to-be into the main room. James turned and stared at him in disbelief. "God, we really are purebloods, aren't we?"

There was a pause and James suddenly found Sirius close by his face, breathing in James' breath. James felt...woozy. Sirius stood back and surveyedhim, smirking. "You haven't been drinking...and yet the stupidity is just radiating off you."

"Bugger off! I'm talking about my wedding...its tomorrow!"

"Oh shit, there goes my laundry day."

"Sirius cut the bull. It's my last night as a bachelorand I need to celebrate it. You're the best man, and according to Lily, you should have planned a party. She's got one! They've invaded her flat, when I went to see her, with perfume and Firewhiskey and hushed discussions of strippers." James stared at Sirius, as if expecting an apology, immediate plans, and pity over the invasion of Lily's friends.

"'Hushed discussions'? Listen to yourself! What do you expect me to do? Pull a stripper out of my arse? That didn't come out quite right..." Sirius bit his lip, fearing he could have somehow accidentally come out to James with that slight homosexual innuendo. _Relax, he doesn't know. How would he? You're careful as hell and he's oblivious as hell. _

James glared and moved past Sirius towards the kitchen, off to the left of the main room. His muffled shouts reached Sirius' ears. "Where's your Firewhiskey? You're a bloody alcoholic, you'd better not have quit on me now." James came back, grinning madly and holding up four large bottles of the Firewhiskey. "Found the stash."

"What are you planning on doing with _my_ alcohol in _my_ flat? You're just going to sit on your arse and get pissed! Can you at least do something memorably stupid for me?" Sirius fell onto the couch James had plopped himself down on.

James blinked, his eyes slid out of focus as he thought, but they refocused as a glimmer reached them. "Truth or Dare."

Sirius snorted. "That's what you want to do on the last free night? That's pathetic, mate. It really is. But have it your way, truth or dare it is."

James bit into the cork on the Firewhiskey bottles one by one and pulled up, removing their tops. He looked quickly at Sirius then tipped one back, almost drinking half. He offered the rest to Sirius who finished the bottle off quickly.

"Dare." James coughed out as he drank deeply from the second bottle.

Sirius started off the third as he pondered James' dare. He clearly wasn't going to go out and get laid tonight, so he might as well get a free show. "Strip out of those ridiculous clothes. You know you look awful in Muggle clothes."

James laughed stupidly as he stood and swayed slightly. He began to pull off his tie and swing it around his head, then let it drop to the ground. Sirius laughed and whooped, clutching the couch as he stood and moved towards the kitchen, never taking his eyes off James.

As James' shirt fell to the floor and his belt was loosened, Sirius returned with four more bottles of Firewhiskey. James stopped and stared. "You clearly didn't find all of the 'stash', James."

Sirius grinned and they promptly finished the first four bottles completely as James continued the stripping. He ended standing in his boxers, wobbling while reaching for yet another bottle of the Firewhiskey. "Truth or dare, Sirius?" He practically _giggled_ and landed back on the couch.

"Dare." _Anything but telling the truth. I'd sooner die._

"Er...I actually have no bloody ideas! I'm pathetic, aren't I?" James laughed, almost bitterly.

Sirius noticed the bitterness and quickly shook his head, an idea with rather nauseatingconsequences. "Come on, you can think of one little dare. Something easy and stupid."

James paused and thought, while sipping another Firewhiskey. "Drink an entire bottle, no stopping." James held up a full one for emphasis.

"Ha! Is that the best you can do, Potter? That's child's play." Sirius smirked and pulled the cork with his teeth, and following a deep breath, drank the entire bottle of Firewhiskey as James' voice was distantly cheering him on. He choked slightly as he felt the liquid burning him from the inside out. Sirius glanced around and saw he had finished the last bottle. He looked up at James, who was sliding in and out of focus in Sirius' drunken eyes. "We...we lost the other bottles! The Firewhiskey is all gone!" Sirius slurred dramatically.

James wrinkled his nose, as if in disgust. "What's wrong with you? No more alcohol? It's my stag night!"

Sirius rolled his eyes but stood and motioned for James to follow. "James, this is one shitty party: two grown men drunkenly playing truth or dare. Follow me." Grasping the walls in the hallway, the two made it into Sirius bedroom, James collapsing on the bed and Sirius collapsing beside it.

Sirius leaned down and reached under the bed, his arse lifted in the air towards James who, with a drunken laugh, promptly smacked it. "Where's the whiskey?" He cried.

Sirius emerged with a scowl and two more bottles. "Don't touch me." He growled, angry at the blush that was creeping across his face. _You don't fancy him, so stop that. _ But Sirius believed it wasn't an interest in James that caused a blush and a hardening prick. James was..._male_. Sirius hadn't been with a guy in months because despite what the rumours were, the gay Wizarding population wasn't at all easy. And he couldn't get a boyfriend...because then his friends would eventually have to meet him. No, one-night stands were the best option for the closeted bender. Any intimate gesture was enough to send him practically to climax. It was pathetic, he knew, but Gods how he missed another man's touch.

James held up his hands in defence. "Alright, let's continue. I'll take truth since you've stripped me of other options. Get it? Strip?!?" He laughed and gestured to himself in his near-naked state. James was quite the odd drunk, being able to slip from a giddy high to a terribly sombre state.

Sirius smiled and paused, as if waiting for the alcohol to drain from his brain for thoughts to take place. He felt like he was swimming in his head, a feeling he hated because Sirius knew himself as a drunk. After all, James was pretty damn close to the truth when he called Sirius an alcoholic. Sirius lost inhibitions when he was drunk, and considering he didn't have that many to start with, he was a regular slut as the sobrietyslipped. But he generally didn't cause a loud and obnoxious scene in bars, if he did say so himself.

"Alright, Prongs," Sirius said as the smirk started to play on his lips. "List, in order, all the girls you have slept with. Come clean before the big wedding, yeah?"

James' drunken smile left and Sirius saw that James was approaching his more quiet side of drunkenness. "I can't." He croaked. Silence.

"Fine, I'll humour you. Why the hell not?"

James whispered something, almost for fear of getting in trouble of saying it too loud.

"What?" Sirius couldn't understand James at all.

"I can't...because...I haven't slept with any girls." James was now blushing furiously and his eyes were now both bloodshot and fearfully wide, giving him an altogether haunting appearance.

Sirius couldn't believe what he was hearing. James? Gay? "What did you say?" He asked, almost afraid to believe the alcohol had affected his hearing.

"I'm a virgin, alright?" James grumbled.

_Oh. Hetero, but virgin._ Sirius was actually quite shocked, he knew James didn't exactly play the field like mad but as far as stories had been, James should have _at least _had sex _once_.

"But...but what about Charlotte? You talked about her constantly after Hogwarts! You missed a full moon to be with her. And you and Lily...? And you have to have had at least one one-night stand. I don't get it." Sirius felt words stumbling out of his mouth as his head pounded.

James looked down as the blush rose in his cheeks. "I lied. It was...just _not right _to be a virgin at this age. So I stretched the truth a little bit and--"

"'Stretched the truth'? You made up an entire sex life you never lived. Does Lily know?"

"No! That's the problem, Lily and I talked about waiting until marriage with each other. But when we broke up for that year right after Hogwarts she admitted to sleeping with that bastard...William! So I, just sort of....said I was with Charlotte and do you know what she said? She said, "Oh good, now we'll both have experience!" She laughed, like this was funny. I don't get her, but now we're getting married tomorrow and I have no experience to impress her with. My wedding night is screwed because I don't know how to screw!" James' eyes were now blurred with the very delicate combination of tears, drunkenness, and raw fear.

Sirius paused, unsure of what to say or do. In the past, they tended to skim over the big emotional issues, touching on common regrets but generally keeping quiet. James had suddenly opened a door into an opportunity to discuss vulnerability and fear, but Sirius couldn't bring himself to make a similarly private confession. Ignore it and move on...how cold would that response be? It would have to do; Sirius wasn't able to do more. "I'll take a dare."

James' head snapped up, and Sirius couldn't read if the eyes were filled with relief or a deeper fear from abandoningthe subject. "You've had sex." It wasn't a question.

"Yes...that's not a dare James."

"You know how to...do it."

"Yeah, I know that. I was there."

"Show me, Sirius."

"Excuse me?" Sirius' realized now a deeper fear had taken hold of James, along with this idea. And when James' spoke, his voice was terrified and low.

"That's your dare," he slurred. "Show me how to have sex."

"What...? How-but, but what...how exactly do you propose I do this?" Sirius was totally lost. Did James imagine Sirius with parchment and a quill drawing diagrams of sex? He wouldn't. Certainly not in this drunken state, anyway. The pictures would turn out terrible.

"Do...me."

A painful silence followed. Sirius was trying to wrap his alcohol-soaked brain around the request. James wanted to lose his virginity to Sirius to learn how to pleasure a girl? Sirius voiced the question to James.

James shook his head and looked positively sick as a result. "Look, I don't...it doesn't make sense...but it'll be good to get the stuff down."

"Its totally different, shagging girls and blokes! I won't help you at all!" Sirius realized his voice rose as he spoke those words, and he didn't know why.

"Oh, you would know?" James' voice matched Sirius.

"Yeah! Yeah I would know." Defeated, Sirius bowed his head to hide the blush and shifted around on the bed.

James paused, looking almost philosophical. He mumbled a little, squinted, and looked at Sirius. "Oh."

"James, I-I can't. You wouldn't want me to. Not now: you're drunk, I'm gay..." Sirius scooted on the bed, towards James at the head and put his hand on James' arm, as if consolinghim.

"Sirius, you're my best mate. I need help. You can provide the help, and _apparently _would enjoy it. This is perfect." James was completely drunk, but still maintained an ability to sit and stare into Sirius' eyes, as if by sheer will he could get what he wanted.

Sirius made to stand up, anger rising in his being. _Is he insane? What part of this plan is possibly perfect?_ However, Sirius only managed to fall back onto the bed, still angry.

James moved so that he was kneeling next to Sirius who was staring up at him. "Besides, its a dare. You're left with virtually no option." He gave a drunken leer and, using his left hand, grabbed Sirius thigh. He began to rub the inner thigh intensely, moving upward towards Sirius' groin, which was heating up quickly. James had the fearful look back in his eyes as they bored into Sirius'. "Please."

"You'll regret this. _I'll_ regret this." Sirius drew in breath as the wandering hand landed on the rapidly hardening bulge that was under his trousers. He struggled to sit up, but found his face inches from James', who tentatively leaned forward.

Their mouths met in an awkward kiss, Sirius attempting to keep his lips closed but the alcohol, the months without physical intimacy, and James' persistencemade it incredibly difficult. Sirius felt James' tongue at his lips and gave in, opening his mouth and bringing a hand to clutch at James' neck, bringing them closer. James suddenly pulled back, with a swollen smile and his eyes clouded with lust. "Good boy." He whispered.

Sirius felt himself anger and James found himself pushed down on the bed, Sirius straddling him. "I'm not your 'good boy', Prongs." He grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. "You're mine."

Sirius thought he saw a flash of fear in James' eyes at the realization they were going to do this, but Sirius was now so caught up he couldn't think. "Here's the lesson, kids: now would be the best time to strip the rest off, but don't worry; I'll do it for you." Sirius moved his hands to James' boxers and pulled them away quickly. He felt his own erection strain painfully at the sight of James completely unclothed, so vulnerable on the bed. Sirius moaned and placed his hand on each of James' bare legs. He gently pushed them apart, James gasping slightly. Sirius massaged his legs and moved closer to the perfect erection before him.

Sirius gently reached James' length, rubbing it roughly then softly. The torment and teasing were driving James insane. He'd never been so hard in his life, but luckily the alcohol left little room for the worrying thought of his best mate, his _brother_, was the one responsible. "God...Sirius..."

"Enjoying ourselves, are we?" Sirius smiled awkwardly down at James, hoping he was wasn't imagining the lust in the dark eyes. James was perfect and, in all honesty, the kind of man Sirius would date if he did that sort of thing....except for the 'straight' part. And the soon-to-be married bit.

"Hurry you prat..." James grunted.

Sirius stopped his hands and looked down at James. "You know, that hurts my feelings. You haven't even said 'please'. Where are your manners?"

James' eyes widened in disbelief at Sirius' self-control. He took a deep breath, appearing as though it was still impossible to put two thoughts together in his drunken lust. "Please?"

"Please what?" Sirius moved back and rubbed his finger over the tip of James' cock.

"Oh! Fuck me..." James mumbled.

Sirius leaned closer to James' ear, leaning over his body and pressing his erection ardently into James. "Why?"

James stared up with such a terrified expression that Sirius regretted letting him drink so much alcohol. Firewhiskey never let James lie. "I want you."

_Oh God..._And there went Sirius' rational thought. He instantly moved his lips onto James, pushing open his mouth and almost shoving his tongue into it. He felt another tongue making quiet attempts to flick back and he welcomed it. Suddenly Sirius felt James' hands on his body again, and it had never felt so good. Sirius shirt was off and his pants had somehow gone missing. James reached up and cupped Sirius, rubbing him through his underwear.

Then Sirius heard himself moan at the sudden feeling of cold air on his cock. James wrapped his hand around the already moist head while Sirius continued ministrations on James'. James, however, found it harder to concentrate. He couldn't believe the intensity of this feeling. He'd listened to the boys at school speak over and over again about the pleasures of sex, but this was so much better. And it wasn't even sex yet! James needed more, so much more.

"So...would she suck me off?" James' grunted out, wisely choosing to avoid mentioning Lily's name. He could see a grin plastered on Sirius' face before the other man pushed James' legs farther apart and ducked his head.

James' threw his head back into the pillows and moaned. Sirius' tongue slid out to flick across the head. Sirius slowly, tantalizingly slid his tongue from the base to tip of James' erection. He rubbed it along the vein on the back and heard the sound of James' hands grabbing the sheets. Sirius laughed inwardly at realizing James did not know you were allowed to grab the head of the person sucking you off and shove yourself further down their throat.

Sirius pulled his mouth off of James, licking the tip ever so gently as he moved away. Sirius' hands drifted to James' hips and slowly lifted them. He brought his mouth to James' balls and sucked on them...hard. James gasped and moaned. "Holy fuck, Padfoot! God...Sirius." James arched his hips off the bed even more.

Without another thought (such as how this probably wasn't something James would need to know for sex with Lily.) Sirius fumbled with the bedside drawer to pull out a tube of lubricant. He quickly squirted some into his hand and rubbed some quickly along his own length. Gasping, Sirius took one slick finger and pressed it against James' entrance. James' hips shot off the bed and he gasped audibly. Sirius pushed a finger into James, watching his reactions closely. James' eyes shut and he moaned, his face glistening with a thin layer of sweat. "More!" He gasped again, desperately moving his hips. Sirius continued pushing against his friend with his finger, rubbing himself along the coarse quilt on the bed. He moaned at the feeling and slowly brought a second finger closer and paused. James moaned wantonly and nodded, somehow knowing what Sirius was asking. Sirius could feel James' balls tightening and his thighs and arse cheeks clenching as he struggled to hold off his orgasm with the second finger added. But Sirius wasn't having any of that. He scissored his fingers and at the same time brought his lips to James' throbbing erection and pushed and pulled at the sensitive foreskin there.

James came with a shout, feeling his insides pouring out in euphoricstream. Sirius swallowed the come, something he hadn't been able to do for a long while, but choked slightly at hearing his own name off of James' lips as his friend came. But Sirius' drunken haze had more important matters such as his own erection still throbbing against the bed.

James was completely sated, his breathing returning to normal slowly. He chanced a glance down at Sirius and stared. Sirius had gotten to his knees and sat awkwardly, his hand reaching for his erection, red and throbbing. The other still inside James. And his eyes were on James.

They stared at each other as Sirius moved his hand over his erection, shining with precum. He groaned, staring at James: blushing, dishevelled, naked, utterly beautiful and thoroughly sexed.

James was aware that this would be considered Sirius masturbating while watching him. He felt his cock twitch slightly and glanced down, Sirius following his gaze. He was definitely hardening again. He looked up fearfully at Sirius, who was grinning right at him.

Sirius pulled his fingers out and leaned over and kissed James, cutting off the other man's moan at the loss of fingers. Their tongues pushed against each other, Sirius rubbing along the roof of James' mouth, driving him wild. James grabbed the solid body balancing over him and pulled it down, desperate for contact.

Sirius moaned when they touched, the feeling absolutely electric. Still kissing, he moved his hand down James' body until he reached the other man's legs. Sirius slowly pried them farther apart, his own body fitting nicely in between. He pushed the legs up, James' hole once again exposed. James broke away from the kiss, a pleading look in his eyes. He nodded slowly and wiggled his hips for more, his hands reaching for his own erection. Sirius stopped him.

"Don't touch yourself." James' eyes opened in shock. His mouth soundlessly shaped protests. "I can't believe I'm doing this." He muttered distractedly as he positioned himself over James.

James looked up, a question posed in his eyes. "Do you even want…"

At the husky voice, Sirius' eyes shot to James'. "Do I even want _you_?" Sirius pushed the head of his cock against James and eased himself in slowly.

James shut his eyes, throwing his head back against the bed, his hands clawing at the sheets, his breathing harsh and uneven. Sirius stared down at his best friend: utterly perfect, beautiful and so…so…_James_. He felt himself overwhelmed at the heat surrounding him as he pushed in farther against the tightness. He was delicately trying to not hurt James despite his own desire to take him immediately. James was perfect. James was always there for him. James was under him. He was fucking James. He was _making love_ to James. "Yeah, I do, James." Sirius barely heard himself, but he was quite sure James had.

Sirius pulled out and thrust in. Hard. His mind was flying: he was pushing himself into James, who had started moaning quietly and quite hesitantly pushing back. Sirius grinned. Coaching James was almost…hot.

"Moan, Jamie. Don't hold yourself back. Push." Sirius grunted as James lifted his hips slightly, whimpering at the friction on his cock. "Yes…"

Sirius leaned closer, his lips resting against James', and he paused a moment. "You all right?" He asked hesitantly. Not waiting for an answer, Sirius opened his mouth to James' and kissed him, rocking his hips slowly. James moaned and leaned his head back, which brought his hips up and Sirius closer to his body: a win-win.

James was losing his mind, desperately pushing himself against Sirius' length, getting himself fucked. Sirius thrust harder and the play became almost violent as Sirius began to moan loudly, as much as he tried to stop it.

"Oh, James. God, this is good. You're so tight…I love this, I love you." Sirius' eyes were shut as he pushed harder, his fingers digging into James' shoulders. He did not see James looking up with lust and surprise and speak a response so quiet; you almost had to see it to hear it: "I love you too."

James moved his hands to Sirius' face pulling him into a searing kiss as they continued to thrust, moving with each other. Sirius' hands were on James' erection, rubbing the head harshly. James couldn't breathe, he was gasping and his mind was flying. He was feeling things he'd never felt, he was about to have his second orgasm of the hour and it was with Sirius.

James cried out, shuddering as he felt the climax hitting him. He clenched himself around Sirius, who was already on the edge. Sirius shouted his orgasm into James' mouth, trying to still kiss but with words slipping out that sounded like 'James!'

There was a silence save the heavy breathing on both ends. Sirius was first to gain his words, although the drink was still slurring them. "You" he breathed." Are…good."

James looked up and winced as Sirius pulled himself out. On impulse, James grabbed the other man's arms and pulled him so Sirius was still lying on top of him, his mouth centimetres from his own. "Thank…you…?"

Sirius laughed hoarsely. "Nah, thanks to you. One the best I've had." _The best actually, but that's not important right now._

"Oh, good. And you! You're…" James trailed off uncertainly. "You're a good teacher."

They both laughed quietly, Sirius' arms wrapped around James' waist tightening slightly. "I missed the perfect career, didn't I?"

James nodded and frowned. "I'm going to have one hell of hangover tomorrow."

Sirius shrugged in that position as best he could. "So? It's worth it…"

James tensed slightly. "I wonder if I'll be able to even stand during the ceremony."

Silence. Long, painful silence.

"Right." Sirius said tersely. "Lily wouldn't want an unconscious groom."

"I'm marrying her."

"Yes, that's usually what's done at weddings."

"I'm marrying her then we're going to have a reception and then we're going to bed."

Sirius didn't speak. James was tense, a painful fear in his voice. _Great time for reality to sink in._

"I'm going to have sex with my wife tomorrow night, after just…with you."

"Most likely, yes."

"I cheated on her. Didn't I? I don't…oh my God! I cheated with a _man_…I…" James slipped out of Sirius' arms. Stumbling up he looked around for his boxers, found them and pulled them on.

"James…I warned you." Sirius followed and moved to find his own clothes. Pulling them into his arms he followed James out to the living room.

"What's wrong with us? Why? _Why_? I…that was sex! I lost my virginity to you! To a man, it's so appalling…" He mumbled absently as he buttoned up his pants and grabbed his shirt.

Sirius had been listening, now almost fully dressed. But at the last words he stopped and stood still. "What's appalling?"

James sighed tiredly. "The whole sex thing—"

"Why?!?" Sirius demanded. "Why did you decide _now_ that this wasn't the best plan?"

"I cheated on my fiancé! With you! With the wrong gender, I—"

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"I'm not a pouf, this wasn't right!"

"You didn't enjoy it? At all?" Sirius sneered.

James choked on his own words. "I…it was a…Sirius, this is...No!"

"You called my name as you came, James!"

"You called mine!"

Silence. James collapsed on the couch.

Sirius sighed. "Then we're both equally guilty…"

There was silence as James threw his face in his hands, silently sobbing. Sirius awkwardly sat down next to his friend, both still shirtless, and put his hand on James' knee. "Its going to be fine, you know."

James vehemently shook his head. "No…I screwed things up. I can't marry Lily tomorrow." He sobbed harder, turning his tired and hopeless face to Sirius. "I…can't."

Sirius couldn't look in his eyes. Those eyes burned into him, reminding him of the passion. He was in love with James, this wasn't right. He couldn't do this to James, it was one lousy fuck. _Lousy, Sirius? Were you even there? It was the best thing in the world!_ He acknowledged his inner voice grudgingly, but spoke. "Sure you can." He muttered.

"It wouldn't work. I…I said your name when I…_came_…not Lily's. I…there's something for you. Some fucked up part of me that I didn't know about that wants…you." James was trying desperately to keep his voice even.

Sirius breathed. "Oh."

James looked straight at Sirius, pulling the other man's face into his hands. "You said _my_ name," he whispered wildly. "Why?"

Sirius bit his lip and looked at James, whose fear filled eyes had moved to the lip Sirius was teasing. Their eyes both moved to each others'. Slowly, they moved closer. Sirius felt James' lips on his own and was lost. He quickly slipped his hand to James' neck.

They were kissing and James moaned slightly, pushing against Sirius until he was on top of him. Sirius' hands were frantically running over James' body. He felt their hardened cocks against each other through their pants and pushed up harder. "James!" He pulled away to gasp warningly. He couldn't do this to James.

James mumbled as his hands fumbled with Sirius' pants and his mouth was latched onto Sirius neck, sliding down the sensitive nipples. Sirius arched into the mouth and James moaned as he felt Sirius' heated groin against his stomach.

James stared in a sort of awe as he pulled Sirius' trousers and boxers down. Sirius chanced a glance down and watched as James' licked his lips nervously and bent his head forward. "You don't have to do this, Jamie." Sirius swallowed air and stared into James' confused eyes. "This is…nice of you? But we're still drunk and I've already fucked you up enough…in more ways than one."

Sirius laughed nervously, trying to ignore the part of him throbbing against James' collarbone. He absently ran his fingers through James' hair.

"Do you love me?" James whispered desperately. "I mean, this wouldn't happen if you didn't."

Sirius tried to sit up but felt himself pushed back down. He tried his logic. "You started it with that dare, that's why it happened." He closed his eyes, not able to look at James. He was falling in love, his throat felt like it was burning and closing in.

James looked absolutely panicked. "Please. Just tell me that this was something, alright? I couldn't live if it wasn't. You're too important."

Sirius bit his lip. This wasn't fair. Of course it meant something, but he couldn't _tell_ James this for at least one reason. "What about Lily, James? You're in love with her; you're marrying her in hours."

James leaned down to Sirius' erection, which was still quite hard much to Sirius' chagrin. "Please." He whispered hoarsely. "Everything we did…it was…something…right? I couldn't throw away Lily for…a drunken…no, this meant something…_everything_." He shakily brought his lips to the tip of Sirius erection.

Sirius thrust his hips off the sofa and groaned. "No, James. You love Lily, think of Lily." Sirius struggled to sit up, but felt James shove him back down.

James licked him slowly, his whole body shaking. "You love me, you took my virginity. Please let me mean something to you. Tell me!"

Sirius numbly shook his head, heat coursing through him. He spoke slowly. "You don't love me, you love Lily…remember?"

James looked up at him, his eyes wide and a tear forming in the corner of his eye. "Who do _you_ love?"

Sirius stared wide-eyed up at his best friend. He never even got to start his words, which was lucky since he didn't have any. James, desperate and drunk, moved his mouth over Sirius' erection. Distantly, Sirius could hear himself moaning, crying out James' name.


End file.
